Closing in on Christmas!

Well, for starters today – it is freakin' COLD in San Antonio right now! But have faith – the temp will be back up to 70 on Thursday. I know that so many of our friends and family are stuck inside back in Arkansas today due to winter weather. We didn't tell Kacy about that; it would only make her upset that she wasn't getting a snow day, too. Marcus and I were chatting about that today – Abby has never had a snow day. She just doesn't know what she is missing. Poor thing probably won't get one, either.

So – what else is going on down here? I finished up the Christmas shopping last Friday. I ended up taking the day off because there were so many little things to take care of that required me to go all over town. I had a LONG list of tasks to finish on Friday and I accomplished them all! What a relief. So since then I have been helping the girls wrap up their school work and just tried to enjoy the season. This week is very challenging for me. I have two potlucks and three "team" lunches! I'm not going to bore you with the details of how I ended up in three "team" lunches – but I did. The first potluck was today. The second is tomorrow – but I probably won't be over there very much, which will be helpful. My team lunches are Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Wednesday's lunch is at Saltgrass… YUM! I'm not sure about Thursday's location. Friday finds me dining at Paesanos. Heavens! I have managed to get a little bit going with the old weight loss effort the last few weeks (down almost 4 pounds in 2 weeks) and now I'm faced with THE HOLIDAYS. So I'm going to do my best to find some good salads and stay on the "healthy" path. (Speaking of weight loss – YEA! Michelle won The Biggest Loser tonight! I'm so glad it wasn't Vickie, Ed, or Heba!)

Kacy had a big day today at school. The entire 5^th grade participates in an activity during their first semester. It is called the "Westward Movement." Each student participates in an ongoing activity where they are a pioneer moving in a wagon to the west. Each student is assigned with a persona – married, single, child. They have to decide what supplies they want to pack within their weight limit. Then they are given "challenges" that they face along the trail. For example, Kacy's person was bitten by a rattle snake! You know, I just realized that I forgot to ask her if she lived… it kind of seemed to take a long time to find out. Anyway – today was their celebration in therunning through corn mazes lost and scared on halloween form of a Chili Cookoff. She had a big time and said that their chili was "SOOOOO good! Except for the beans." Yep – she is her daddy's kid. She hates beans. Anyway – she thoroughly enjoyed the activity and I'm thinking that I might even be able to get her to begin reading "The Little House on the Prairie."

Abby had her first Upward basketball practice last Thursday. She really enjoyed it. I think it is going to be a lot of fun watching her play. Of course, EVERY game is at 9:00 AM each Saturday morning for 8 weeks… that won't be so great! And that will wrap up just as we are ready to start spring soccer. I feel like I'm back in softball all over again! Haha

Marcus is doing well. He finished playing fall softball at the office last week. He was on a team with several of the guys who moved here from Arkansas and some other guysget your pets dressed up on halloween that I have worked with for several years. Their team was called "Grumpy Old Men." I must say, the name fit… like a GLOVE. Haha They were actually much better than I thought they would be (or the other teams were just really bad… I didn't see many games, so I can't really say). They only lost one regular season game and won the regular season championship, so they all got a t-shirt. And they were really excited about the t-shirt… who knew? They finished runner-up in the post-season tournament, however. But thankfully the 2^nd place teathe tradition of wearing costumes on halloweenm still gets a t-shirt. So that's two new t-shirts. I think I need to go straighten up the closet after this post to make room for them. J

I have been doing some photo sessions lately. I'm having fun. So far I have shot one mom & daughter duo, one little boy, and two families. I may have 2 more families next week. I am trying to get a blog set up for the photos. I'll share the link when I get it ready to share.

Now that you are all caught up on the Willard family, I will leave you with a few pictures of new ornaments that we added to the tree this year. The first one was sent to me by Doris. She sent me this pair of ornaments that she found at the Little Rock Holiday House. The matching ornament reads, "Believe." They are beautiful and so much fun!

The second ornament came home with us when we returned from our surprise Walt Disney World trip this past August.

The next two ornaments belong to the girls. Tinkerbell is Abby's and the Harry Potter ornament is Kacy's. These were gifts from their Nanny, who buys the girls a new ornament each year. They LOVE having these and look forward to hanging their ornaments each year when the tree goes up.

And finally, here are a couple I picked up while out shopping. The first one I found at Macy's – I also found a matching "Joy" ornament. The second I found at the Pottery Barn Outlet when shopping with Mom and Dad at San Marcos during Thanksgiving week.

Well, it is obviously time for me to go to bed. All we can seem to find on TV is more stink that Terrell Owens is raising up in Dallas. Heavens, it's like a weekly soap opera with that team – and we get too much of the information since we live here in Texas. Oddly enough, no one seems to notice that there is actually another NFL team closer to San Antonio than Dallas. The Texans are just an after-thought down here! Too funny! This town hangs on every word that comes out of Dallas about the Cowboys, but pretend that the city doesn't exist whenever they are talking about the NBA. The Spurs hate the Mavericks. Oh, the drama of major sports teams.

OK – I'm off for the night! Hugs to all!

SF Blog Reviews Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-li Movie

In 1994 Street fighter made its first failed attempt to be a successful movie franchise, with JeanClaude Vandamme as Guile (the Hero of the movie) and the late Raul Julia as Bison. The result was a 90 minutes of pure cheese and fail.

15 years later, Street Fighter is back to the big screen with Street Fighter: The legend of Chun-li, written by Justin Marks and directed by Andrzej Bartkowjak.

Instead of focusing on a large group of characters, the movie makers took the good step towards focusing on one main character, in this Case Chun-li, to presumably tell a cohesive good story.

The Story: The story focuses on Chun-li played by Kristen Kreuk, a young pianist (Say WHAT?) who witnessed her dad been kidnapped by the evil bison (Neal Mcdonhough) and his right hand man Balrog(Michathe tradition of wearing costumes on halloweenel Clark Duncan) in front of her eyes. Fueled by anger and sadness, the young detecti… I mean concert pianist, sets on a journey driven by revenge.

In her quest to find Bison, the evil leader of the Shadaloo Investement Corporation, she meets Gen, a middle aged homeless looking martial artist, played by Robin Shou. Gen is the leader of the mysterious clan of the Web (whatever that is). Gen also happened to have been part of Shadaloo at one point of his early life, and grew up with bison. According to Gen, bison was a sick poor kid who no one took care of. When he became a young man, Bison married a lady, made her pregnant and then took her to the “Dark” caves where he pulled his unborn daughter from his wife belly button or something, killing his wife, and then putting all his good side into his daughter. Gen also adds that bison had to do this to lose consciousness (I swear I am not sh!tting you guys).

Gen reveals to Chun-li that her dad is still alive, because he is an important business man who has connections, and Bison needs those connections. He then proceeds to train her so she can free her dad.

Charlie Nash is also introduced during the movie, played by Chris Klein, who is an Interpol agent who has been trying to catch bison for years, and that is it for Nash.<get your pets dressed up on halloween/p>

After training hard, watching her dad been killed in front of her eyes, and beating Vega in 1 minute (like Akuma with the Shun Goku Satsu) Chun-li is now ready to defeat bison who is expecting an important shipment, that happens to be his daughter Rose (yes rose from the game although she is 13 years old in this movie) since he missed her and want her to be close to daddy.  But that would not stop Chun-li from being a bitch and looking at rose in her eyes then twisting bison’s head 180 degrees in front of his daughter. (what a wrong message to give to the audience)

Chun-li now at peace because she killed a guy in front of his daughter, decides to do good and join an organization where she can help people. And no she does not join the Interpol or the police to become the detective we know and love, she instead joins the Clan of the Web!

The movie then ends with cliffhanger of some sort, when Gen tells chun-li that there is a street fighter tournament coming out and that he heard about a Japanese fighter named “rahhh you” that he wants to recruit in his mysterious Clan of the Web (ahahaha sorry I couldn’t resist the laughter)

The story of this movie started decent, and then turned horrible, in fact it is so bad, it just hurts me to remember it. Chun-li being a pianist was a retarded idea, Bison’s origin was a funny joke, Charlie does not add anything to the movie, in fact you can remove the Charlie scenes and the movie will still make the same sort of twisted sense it makes now. All in all, a very, VERY bad story.

Score: 4/10

Acting: This is the fun part to review. With the exception of Kristen Kreuk as Chun-li and Neal as Bison, the acting in this movie deserves a nomination for worst acting of the year. Especially Chris Klein. Whenever Chris entered a scene, the audience would burst into laughter, everytime he tries to be a serious looking cop he just look ridiculous and a retard. If they removed Chris Klein from the movie and replaced him with an audio tape player, so whenever they have to show Nash they just show the player playing charlie’s lines, the tape player would have done a better job than Chris Klein.  Clark Michael Duncan as balrog was a good cast in terms of resemblance to the character, but unfortunately Michael Duncan did his worst acting in this movie. Taboo as Vega was also the wrong cast for the character, but had such a short scene that I won’t bother reviewing.

Score: 3/10

Directing: The legend of Chunli is directed by Andrzej Bartkowjak, the same person who directed Speed (1994) and Lethal Weapon 4. Unfortunately he does not do more than a half decent Job. The fading from scene to scene used in this movie is reminiscent of old 90’s horror movies. Too many scenes cutting. For example, we see balrog firing a rocket launcher, cut to explosion, cut to Balrog laughing. I do blame the studio and low budget for things like that, but still not a good directing trick. The fight scenes are also a problem here, the wirework is very obvious, and the director does not do much to hide it.

Score: 4/10

Special Effects: Chun-li Does a Kikoken in this movie, however the Special effects looked very cheap and even worse that a Sci-Fi channel tv Movie. The explosions and energy ball also look very Cheap.

Score: 3/10

Action: What is a street fighter movie without a lot of good action? The answer is the legend of Chun-li. The movie lacks big time on the fighting side, and even with the few fighting scenes, they are either too damn short (Chun vs Vega) or obvious bad looking wirework (chun vs thugs) The movie even gets so boring towards the last half for the lack of fist to fist combats.

Score: 4/10

Sound: The only good element of the movie was the soundtrack of the Legend of Chun-li. While it does not have any resemblance to the Game soundtrack, the Street Fighter Legend of Chun-li Music and sound effects are well done, especially the main theme of the Movie.

Score: 8/10

Resemblance to the Game characters: This is a Street Fighter based movie, so it is only logical to compare how the characters look in the movie compared to their game counterparts:

Chun-li does not wear her trademark outfit and does not physically resemble Chun-li although she does wear blue and show in hair buns in one scene: Draw

Bison wears a white then a black suit, and I mean a business suit: Fail

Balrog uses mostly guns but physically looks somewhat like the Balrog we know: Draw

Vega wears a HUGE, man HUGE mask and freddy Kruger looking claws, and also wears a black infiltration suit, he also does not look like vega at all, and hides his face not to protect his beauty but to hide his ugliness: FAIL

Nash is an Interpol agent instead of an army man, he doesn’t wera glasses, he is not blod, and he sucks big time in this movie by acting like a fool jerk = FAtop amazing halloween dog costumes in 2008IL

Gen is not an old man in the movie, nor is he Chun-li’s dad friend, he looks like a middle aged Lui kang from Mortal Kombat = FAIL

Rose is a kid and she is Bison’s daughter, she also wears pajamas = SUPREME FAIL

Score: 2/10

Closing Comment:

Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-li is with no doubt a huge disappointment to all of us Street Fighter fans who waited 15 years to get a second attempt to do a Street Fighter movie. The movie is very bad, maybe not as bad as some people are making it, but still very bad. The story is horrible and does not make sense, nor follow the game’s storyline. The acting is horrible and Chris Klein does shine as the worst actor of the decade. Special effects and fight scenes are very cheap looking and do not deserve to be in a Motion Picture. All in all, this movie fails in being the start of a new Film franchise, and we probably have to wait another 15 years for a third attempt if ever.

 

Final Score:  4/10

Mutual Benefit Contracts

This post is in response to a question about contracts in a comment to my article The Customer Drives the Car.


The text is an excerpt from a book I am writing about Clarity, a software development method based on systems thinking. This book is on the back burner at the moment. 


I am currently writing a book about strategy and organization with Strategic Navigation. This book will stand on its own, but it will also provide a much needed framework for the Clarity book. The reason is that originally, Clarity, like other agile methodologies, took a bottoms up approach to methodology development. Partly because of my work on Clarity, partly because of my involvement with The Theory Of constraints, Strategic Navigation, and Systems Thinking, I have become convinced that a top down approach will work better. Therefore, Clarity will be redesignetop amazing halloween dog costumes in 2008d, and thoroughly tested, before I publish a book about the method as a whole.


Here is Clarity's (current) take on contracts:


A contract is an agreement to take on certain responsibilities, or to do things a certain way. All projects have contracts. Individuals in an open source development team usually have an unwritten and implicit social contract. Business partners usually have a formal, written and legally binding contract. Clarity has a few recommendations for the latter kind.

Zero Sum Game Contracts
When playing the software development game as a zero sum game, it is very hard to trust your business partners. After all, the rules of the game say that whatever one party wins has to come from whathomemade cow halloween costumes some other party puts on the table.
There is no reason for the parties to trust each other. Therefore, contracts are used as a replacement for trust. Such contracts contain a lot of information about the terrible woes that will befall deal breakers. Usually they also contain rules for how risk is going to be divided.
 
There are basically two variants. In a fixed price contract the vendor takes the risk. In a time-and-materials contract, the customer takes the risk.


Because the basic assumption is that the project has a fixed value the customer will quite naturally try to get as much functionality as possible per dollar, and the vendor will try to do as little as possible per dollar. Both of these strategies increase the risk that the project will fail to yield the maximum possible return on investment.

Clarity views a contract as a framework for building a relationship based on mutual benefit. The game is set up so that the parties have a common goal. Both parties win, or both parties loose. Such contracts engender trust and cooperation.

Business Practices
An important point about the mutual benefit contracts described below is that they all have negotiable scope. If the scope can’t be negotiated, there is no point to prioritizing stories. There are no less important stories that can be cut out of a delivery if need should be.

This section provides a brief overview of contract types only. For more a more in-depth treatment of mutual benefit contracts, I recommend Lean Software Development[16] and Implementing Lean Software Development[15], both by Mary and Tom Poppendieck.


Clarityget your pets dressed up on halloween does not govern in any way which types of contracts you use. The recommendation though, is that you go for mutual benefit and trust between you and your customer.


Shared Benefit Contracts
One way to engender trust is with shared benefit contracts. The parties share the development costs, and they also share the profits generated by the product. Such contracts are suitable when building a pay-per-use web site or service. In other situations, for example when building a billing system, or a free web site, the economic worth is harder to assess, and this form of contract is hard to use.


Multistage Contracts
Multistage contracts are useful in many situations. Let’s say a job is expected to take six months. The vendor might make six monthly deliveries, getting paid a fixed price after each one. This reduces risk for both vendor and customer. The investment per stage is only a sixth of the entire project cost, so the customer does not risk as much. If things should go very awry with the customer relations, the vendor can also terminate after each month. There is no risk for either party of getting trapped in an eighteen month project from Hell.


It is fairly common for customers to order more functionality, in more increments than originally agreed. This offsets the risk of loosing a contract half-way through now and then.


Target Schedule Contracts
A target schedule contract sets a fixed final delivery date. With a target schedule contract, the development team can add resources and reduce scope to meet the final delivery date. The customer knows from the outset when the product will be ready, but not how much it will cost. The most important features are worked on and delivered first. It is important to make small releases, and see to it that they are actually deployed each time, or the delivery date may slip due to unforeseen problems.


Target Cost Contracts
A target cost contract has fixed cost, but leaves the scope negotiable. It is very important that the most valuable features are worked on and delivered first. A target cost contract may induce the customer to cram extra features into the application once development is under way. This is usually handled by having a clause in the contract that triggers negotiations about equitable cost sharing if the actual cost is significantly different from the target cost.
Vendor incentive is often provided by giving the vendor a bonus if the project
is completed below the target cost.

“He was out of the truck and pounding towards me ….. “

ONE of Steven Spielberg’s first films and still his best is Duel (1971).  Hardly a word of dialogue interrupts a soundtrack of the roars and hissings of a giant diesel as the unseen driver of a filthy tanker does his best to kill a bloke driving a little red car across a desert highway.

I write these words still shaken by last night’s re-enactment of a favourite film on the New England Highway. It wasn’t so much fun in real life. And my duel was with a far bigger truck - one of those 36-wheelers with an extra trailer. Where Spielberg̵homemade cow halloween costumes7;s monster was dark and oil-stained, my nocturnal nemesis was bright and white with blue canvas along its sides but like the cinematic original it had no markings. I’d just passed a dozen Linfox semis in an orderly convoy, a couple of Woolies’ brand-named behemoths and a clearly addressed Australia Post. But my roaring, trumpeting, headlight-beaming bully was ominously anonymous.

Nor did I ever see its licence plates. Despite an hour in dangerous proximity as the truck tailgated me at 20, 30, 40ks over the limit. Horns blaring, lights flashing, often inches behind me. The script departed from Duel’s in that I finally got a close-up view - far too close - of the driver. I could pick him out in a line-up.

Sydney to the bush. I’ve made the trip at least once a week for 25 years. Close to a million kilometres up and down a road I know too well. I leave Sydney just before midnight, hit the cot around 3am. Much later if slowed by bad weather - fog’s a recurrent problem - or the endless highway repairs. The only competition for the road is the interstate haulers heading for Brisbane.

In the bad old days when the roads were far worse, that competition could get intense - even murderous. This was the era of the pill-popping cowboys using US-style radio call-signs when warning each other of cops ahead. On a few occasions a doped-up driver would signal that it was safe to pass - and I’d pull out to see a semi hurtling towards me. You learned to drive suspiciously and defensively.

But with the steady extension of the freeway and some industry clean-ups it became much safer. I’ve got to know a few of the drivers when getting food or fuel at the truck stops. We discuss their tyrannies of distance, the pressures of soaring diesel prices and demanding employers. Those pressures clearly got to the bloke last night.

It started between Singleton and Muswellbrook on the stretch between the coalmines and the power stations. My mistake? To observe the speed limits. (I don’t want to lose more points.) Suddenly he was inches behind me, road-raging at 110kmh. I couldn’t escape him. No hope of pulling off the highway and no matter how fast I drove he’d up the ante. Despite any number of foto be a pirate or not on this halloweenur-lane stretches and passing lanes he didn’t pass. He wanted to crush me - or send me careering off the road. This went on for over 30 minutes - and it wasn’t until we hurtled into Muswellbrook that I managed to do a wheelie into a street leading to a shopping centre. Not just in hope of escape but with the intention of returning to the highway, getting behind him, reading his number plate and calling the cops.

But after a few seconds calming down I saw that he, too, had stopped. Blocking both lanes of the side road with his monster. And he was out of the truck and pounding towards me, a monster in his own right. And what was that he was brandishing?

I threw another u-ey and ditop amazing halloween dog costumes in 2008d a slalom run back to the New England where I was forced to drive on the wrong side of a divided highway, rocketing along in a 60kmh area. Hoping, just this once, to hear police sirens. I called out to some startled road-workers - get his number! - but I doubt they did.

The race resumed. Actually two races - the other against a coal train. This was pure Spielberg. My only hope of escape was to get across the railway line near home … but a coal train more than a kilometre in length was fast approaching. If it got to the crossing first, I’d be trapped. Remember the scene in the movie? The black truck pushing the helpless car onto the tracks? Skidding and sliding, I made it over the crossing with seconds to spare, the warning signals already flashing.

The truckie couldn’t have known the age, gender or skills of the car driver. He had to be high on amphetamines. Perhaps someone reading this will know who he is, or identify his truck. Can’t have been too many white 36-wheelers with blue canvas sides heading for Brisbane at 2 in the morning.

Thomas

Things Homeschool Dads/Husbands Need To Know

I had some conversations with a couple of homeschool moms today, both of whom were feeling battle-worn and under-supported. The similarities of the struggles of homeschool moms was striking. I've been there, felt that, and heard it from others a zillion times. And what I mostly wished for was an opportunity to *somehow* be able to explain to the husbands of homeschool moms about what they need to know and do to support their to be a pirate or not on this halloweenwife and help make it possible for the homeschooling, homemaking, and nurturing to happen. So here is the vent:

Hint: When your wife says she needs something, just give it to her.

Does she need you to listen? Then listen to her.

Does she need money for curriculum or someone to help clean the house or for some underwear that isn't stained and has elastic that isn't worn out? Then figure out how to get her the money. With a smile, too.

Does she ask you to come to her rescue? Do it. Now! With love and compassion. And no side dishes of guilt or whining.

Hint: Although you work hard to provide for your family that is probably staying afloat with your earnings alone, I've got bad news for you: It's not enough. You also need to be a compassionate, caring force for good behind your wife and your kids.

Taking on the task of homes10 halloween costumes in 2008chooling is a mountain. The amount of information to digest and apply is daunting. The amount of decisions to make and options to wade through is exhausting. And then once you've done all of the reading, digesting, and decision-making, a homeschool mom gets to constantly assess and re-assess what's working, what's not, how to know when to stick to the plan and when to jump ship and try one of the other 3, 456, 341, 899 options for each and every possible academic subject. Plus clean up milk-and-cereal spills, and do extra laundry from when the stomach flu fairy came to visit last night. All while she has bad cramps and her period.

Because you're not actively doing all of this reading, digesting, and decision-making and cramp-having, I realize that it probably doesn't look like that big of a deal. Well, believe it or not, it IS a big deal. REALLY big. You may not know it in your bones like your wife does. If you can, though, try to know it even just a little bit in your head.

I assume that when you were first in love with your wife you wanted good things for her, thought she was pretty interesting, smart, talented, and special. You probably felt like leaping tall buildings in a single bound. And now, enough years later to have had some kids and gotten lazy about your love, you think you can ignore that woman, leave her at home all day, come home to expect a nice dinner, the kids to behave, and some hot (or at least luke-warm) lovin' before you go to sleep and start all over again the next day, without taking care of her in the other ways that would help her get "filled up" with rest and refreshment so that she can "pour out" good stuff on the family every day. When she says she needs a break, you may think it's ok to roll your eyes, give her a hard time, or whine and complain about it. I'd like to give you a swift kick (or twenty) in the rear. Your homeschooling wife is doing A WHOLE LOT behind the scenes that you probably never get to see, and I guarantee that she's dealing with a large load of mental and emotional stuff as well. She may vent to you about some of it, but it's likely just a smidge of what's really going on. If she tells you she needs something, do your DARNDEST to make it happen. Today. And be mighty nice about it. Try to remember that once she was precious to you. (You may say she is still precious to you--but are you treating her that way? Does she feel that she is precious to you?) Try to remember that you'd like her to not be so burnt out that she can't enjoy you, your children, or the life that you work so hard to provide for her. She's not meant to be kept in a box. Encourage her to get out and take care of herself, to cultivate good friendships, to get some fresh air and sunshine, to be able to move without children to hold or carry or manage at every turn. Encourage her to do good things for herself: a fresh new haircut, a facial, a massage, or maybe a lunch out with a friend. Money may be tight, but find a way to give her some good breaks and nurturing. It doesn't have to be expensive--it just has to be a fit for her needs. Hint: If you give it with a pure heart of love, with no resentment, whining, or bad attitude, it will go miles and miles and MILES toward giving her new strength and peace to continue to do what she wants to do for yhomemade cow halloween costumesou and your children.

In my conversations today, I was thinking about how little I can do to help a woman who is drowning in her homeschooling when she doesn't have the support that she needs from her husband. Men--you may not be choosing the curriculum, reading the books, or teaching the lessons, but the role you play can definitely make or break the success of your family's homeschooling. Without your loving support **in the ways that seem loving and supportive to your wife** she will be stuck struggling in areas that you could have alleviated, simply by treating her like you yourself would want to be treated.

The golden rule: It ain't just for strangers any more. Try it on your wife and kids.

In which I moan about pregnancy

I am loving being pregnant. I really am. I love being all round and full. I love little baby kicks and hiccups. I love patting my tummy. I love it that when I ask P where the baby is he will sometimes point at his own tummy, and sometimes mine.

But there are some things that downright shit me. Remember these?

* Why is it that when you are so full of female hormones, and about as female as you can get, your brain gives up being able to think like a woman? Multitasking is a definite benefit in my job (I'll just nudge that blood pressure whilst I make up this penicillin and maybe change the vent settings around; 'hello lovely nurse, could you just grab me some more remi please?') and I hate having to think linearly, but if I try to do too much it just evaporates. Pouf! Ideas- all gone...

* Tiredness. Crapola. I had to have a nanna nap pretty much every day in the first trimester and that went for 15 weeks, not 13, and it has started again- at 25+5, not 27/28. Holy what-the-hell? Maybe this is why one is so much more fertile in one's twenties.

* Most people have heard of eponymous signs- they just don't know what they are. That's something with someone's name attatched that signifies something in a disease process. For example, McBurney's point is the point of maximum tenderness in appendicits. Murphy's sign is tenderness under the liver when someone with an in10 halloween costumes in 2008flamed gallbladder takes a deep breath in, and Rhomberg's sign is someone who can't balance with their eyes shut. Now, I'd like to claim my own: Jen's Monster Pubes of Late Pregnancy. Seriously. I have the longest pubes ever. I haven't yet beaten my record from Patrick's pregnancy, but there are some humungous ones in there. And they're all straight too, like old lady pubes (Ok, I realise unless you work in healthcare that you may not know this, but old ladies seem to get straight pubes. Something to do with grey hair being thicker, or something. Anyway, there you go. Something to look forward to- not).

* Can't bend, can't squat, can't sit, can't stand, can't lie down without multiple pillows. It's uncomfortable just being alive. At least it's not frankly painful. Yet.

*Sweating like it's a Gold Medal contest. My sweat glands are outstripping any antiperspirant on the market. It's not sooo bad at work (air con) but if I have to dress up in gown and gloves and mask, by cranky do I start fogging up. And pouring with sweat. I literally hachoose halloween mask to make the perfect halloween costumeve to change my scrubs after any procedure because they get so sweaty I get too smelly by the end of the day. Icky.

* Bad taste in clothes. I don't know what has brought this on, but I am turning into a hippie. Maybe it's just the attraction to loose fitting cotton, but I seem to be wearing all earth colours and ... navy blue. Navy blue is the colour my mum wears for Chrissakes! There are days when i am wearing- shock horror- no black at all! And I can't be bothered funking up the hair so it just goes back in a hair wrap. Next thing you know I'll be drinking herbal tea, driving a prius and thinking Peter Garrett has finally lost any shred of credibility (Oh Peter- why didn't you join the Greens instead??!)... oh NO! The rot has set in already!!!!

* My toe nails are looking just feral. Mental health staff reckon you can tell to be a pirate or not on this halloweenhow mentally unwell a person is by the state of their toenails. Neat, trimmed, polished= mentally well; crusty, talon-like, only-cuttable-with-a-chainsaw =mentally ill. I have mental health toenails. Oh and my roots have grown out alarmingly, so I also have mental health hair. That combined with the hippie clothes plus a permanently dazed/ exhausted look must make my patients think they have Loopy Luna looking after them.

But. I really am. Enjoying it. Seriously.